A mom has come forward to tell her story of giving up the son that she adopted because of “attachment issues.”

“The first time I considered giving up D. I was lying alone in my oversized bed. It was about midnight, my children were asleep and my husband was deployed. I was so taken aback by my thoughts that I bolted upright, ran to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. It was dark, but I could see my silhouette in the mirror and I stared to see if I was looking at a demon instead of D.’s mother. “

I ran to D.’s room, afraid that he was already gone. But he was there, lying on his Thomas the Train sheets, sucking his thumb and breathing evenly. I caressed his cheek with two fingers and he exhaled.

“I love you little man,” I whispered, and kissed his forehead, swallowing down the knot in my throat. I went back to my room and sobbed into my pillow.”

D. was found on the side of a road so doctors were unsure of his age, however guessed that he was just under a year old. When he was taken to his pediatrician there were some expected medical issues and developmental delay.

D. also suffered from coprophagia which is eating ones own feces. However their pediatrician said that most children grow out of this by age 4.

Mom says that the physical and developmental issues were not the problem. D just didn’t seem to be attaching to them as a family and especially to her as “mom”.

“His social worker, his pediatrician and his neurologist all told me that he had come a long way, and that attachment issues were to be expected with adoption. But D.’s attachment problems were only half the story. I also knew that I had issues bonding with him. I was attentive, and I provided D. with a good home, but I wasn’t connecting with him on the visceral level I experienced with my biological daughters. And while it was easy, and reassuring, to talk to all these experts about D.’s issues, it was terrifying to look at my own. I had never once considered the possibility that I’d view an adopted child differently than my biological children. The realization that I didn’t feel for D. the same way I felt for my own flesh and blood shook the foundations of who I thought I was.”

They went through some attachment therapy but she still struggled.

“My thoughts and emotions were disjointed and came in waves. One moment I was determined to keep D. because I loved him. An instant later, I realized that I wasn’t the parent I know I could be, and that I should place D. with a better family, with a better mother.”

The social worker she dealt with called one day and said that she found a wonderful family for D. They had learned of his situation, saw pictures and fell in love. Over a period of several days D got to know his new mom and then when they felt ready, he left with her.

“In our last moments together, I stared into his eyes and told him that I loved him and that I had tried to do my best. His new mom would love him so, so much; my little man would be OK.”

This is really sad. I wonder if perhaps his delays have anything to do with his attachment issues? I don’t know if I could do what this mom did. You spend so much time/effort and money on adoption only to have nothing in the end. I hope this little boy is happy in his new home and getting the attention and love that he deserves. – Shannon, Staff Writer

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PHOTOCREDIT:SPLASH

Madonna’s application to take home Malawian toddler Mercy James is reportedly set to go through after three appeal judges gave the adoption the green light.

The pop superstar is said to be “ecstatic” after learning officials in the African country have submitted reports recommending her as a mother for the three-year-old girl.

A source tells The Sun, “The paperwork is being typed up now. All recommendations are in favour of the adoption taking place. Mercy should start packing her bags. She’s off to America.”

Madonna launched a legal battle to adopt Mercy in April but her bid was rejected on the grounds that prospective parents have to be resident in the country for 18 to 24 months prior to an adoption.

Madonna, who had previously adopted a Malawian-born David Banda in 2006, subsequently appealed the ruling.

The final verdict is expected to be announced at Malawi’s Supreme Court of Appeal on Sunday.

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{ZUMA}

A Belgian couple faces prison terms of up to five years after they illegally sold their newborn baby to Dutch adoptive parents who bid for the child on the Internet.

The baby, who was born earlier this year to a 22-year-old woman and 24-year-old man, was adopted by a Dutch couple four months ago.

The sum paid for the child has not been disclosed. As the adoption, which was agreed during the pregnancy, went ahead without official authorization, the Belgian couple .

The parents resorted to advertising the baby on the internet due to financial difficulties.

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This amazing baby is now part of a family that loves her. Sadly, her life wasn’t always this stable.

Born two weeks early on Monday, March 24 at 6:18 p.m., Emma weighed 4 pounds, 7 ounces, and spanned all of 16 inches.

At birth she was given up with her ‘23-year-old birth mother, a drug-user, smoker and drinker who knew she could never care for the baby’.

Just after she was born Emma was diagnosed with a heart defect that would need to be corrected by surgery and followed up with lots of therapy.

Even though another couple stepped in and decided to adopt her, they backed out when they learned of her heart condition and of their own pregnancy by in-vitro fertilization.

Knowing that she was parent less and facing a enormous surgery, the nurses in the NICU stepped in and gave this special baby the love and care she needed in the days leading up to her surgery.

It was then that cardiac surgery nurse Daniel Monroe, realized that Emma could be the one thing his wife had wanted her whole life.

The couple already had a little boy, 5, but they couldn’t seem to get pregnant a second time and they desperately wanted a baby girl.

Elizabeth and Dan Monroe called the birth mother’s attorney the day after Emma’s surgery and made their desire to adopt known. They sent a letter, explaining their backgrounds and professions. Within one day the birth mother accepted their adoption and the baby was theirs.

The Monroes know it isn’t going to be easy. They were reminded of that soon after Emma’s surgery, when she bled into her brain. It’s a common problem for premature babies because their vessels haven’t had time to fully develop and can rupture easily. So Emma got another piece of hardware: a shunt to relieve the pressure in her brain.

“We are 100 percent, totally committed to this child,” Daniel Monroe said, “regardless of what comes at us.”

“I truly believe that God has put her in our path because we can make a huge difference in her life,” said Elizabeth, who plans to take at least a year off from work to focus on the baby.

“There’s going to be a lot of moments, hard moments, we know that,” she said the day Emma was finally leaving hospital in late May. Elizabeth, having spent the night there, was running on two hours of sleep. “God will never give us more than we can handle.”

This family deserves every moment of happiness that they get. I hope that Emma grows up to defy all of the odds she has been given.

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Last Friday night after she was done serving a couple dinner, instead of leaving a tip – they left her an unusual card.

It read: “We wish to adopt a baby. We are caring, happily married, financially secure and a loving couple. We want to share our joy and love for a child.”

The note also had a phone number on it.

Julie’s husband, J.D. said he thought it was “really creepy” and both felt it was a rude slap in the face.

“I don’t wear a wedding ring at work and so for them to assume I’m not married or that I’m working in a service industry and that I maybe couldn’t afford to have a child or something, I don’t know. I just felt there were too many assumptions there,” Moore said.

KING-TV called the phone number on the card, which was directed to the couple’s attorney. He said they have not gotten any negative responses to their unusual method of finding a baby to adopt. They were doing nothing illegal.

The Moore’s feel bad for this couple, but think that they crossed the line.

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Rebecca and Jeff Bates decided on adoption, Ms. Bates said, when she and her husband were unable to conceive.

They adopted their first child Mary 2 years ago.

When Mary began to become a toddler, the Bates decided it was time to enlarge the family. They called their attorney and told him they wanted to adopt a baby boy — one, that is. They made the call in April. By November, their attorney had found a mother in California who was pregnant and knew she could not raise a child. She was looking for a caring, Christian couple.

That’s when they found out that the expectant mom was expecting a rare set of identical triplets. The chances of having identical triplets is one in 200 million.

Within an hour the couple had made their decision. One month after that they had transformed their office-and-gym combo room into a full nursery.

Knowing that they babies would probably be arriving early, Rebecca headed to California in January.

Just 2 weeks later at 32 weeks gestation, the three identical boys Chris, Daniel and Nathan arrived weighing roughly three pounds each.

The babies, who are now home, each wear different color bracelets so that the couple can tell them apart.

“We can’t tell them apart,” said Rebecca “We have to look for their birthmarks or use their anklets.”

Their church, University Baptist Church, and their family have helped ease the transition, the Bates said. Church members took care of Mary when Ms. Bate first flew to California and brought the family dinners each day when the Bates returned to South Carolina.

“So far it’s not been as bad as I thought it would be,” Mr. Bate said. “The first several weeks, they wouldn’t fuss or cry, they just slept.”

That’s changing slowly though as the boys continue to grow.

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PHOTOCREDIT:Nathan Gray