We have all felt it at one time or another – working outside the home or not. Responsibilities that don’t involve our children get in the way and cause mommy guilt. Even simply taking care of ourselves – taking time for a nap or time out with friends, seems like a betrayal to our children.
Bethany Frankel, mother to 17-month-old Bryn Casey, wife to Jason Hoppy and manager of the Skinny Girl empire, has learned to put her mommy guilt in check.
“I like to think I’m doing a good job, I’m there for my daughter almost all the time, as much as I can possibly be,” she told Parenting magazine. “Sometimes it’s true that I have to travel and I miss a night with her. When that happens, I feel like I’m going to freak out.”
But instead of letting those feelings create a sense of guilt the reality star says she views her feelings as evidence of her strong bond with her daughter. “I tell myself that the fact that I get so upset is yet another sign I’m a good mom. That’s all I really care about,” she stated.
Bethany also told Parenting that there is no real balance between kids and career but doing your best is all that really matters. Bethany stated that she just focused on what worked best for her and her family.
“I had to be on a business trip all day Saturday. But I knew it was coming so I spent every minute of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday with Bryn, and then all day Sunday again. So really, I only missed one day. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t feel any guilt at all,” she stated.
That time was probably spent having fun and making memories – something that Bethany says she and Bryn specialize in.
“Bryn and I throw dance parties with our iPod every single day. California Gurls is probably her favorite song and yesterday, we had a really fun time with a tune by Panic at the Disco. We love Pink, too,” Bethany admits.
Bethany also shared some valuable parenting wisdom with other moms – the importance of overcoming the supermom mentality. She believes that motherhood is far from complicated and that we, as mothers hurt ourselves by trying too hard to fit the supermom mentality. (Read Jen’s post on Alexis Stewart!)
“You don’t have to do everything right – just be there,” she says. “Bryn’s not drinking enough milk right now, but that has nothing to do with me. It’s not like I’m a bad mom because of that. Sometimes I accidentally give Bryn food that’s just a little too hot or I’ll be turning her around during a bath and she’ll dunk and get water in her mouth. What can you do? Just say, ‘I’m sorry!’” Bethany says.
She credits her dedication to her daughter and her perspective on parenting to waiting until later in life to start her family.
“For me, I think that having Bryn later in my 30s was a good thing. I’ve had more experience and I appreciated it more. I don’t think, at 23, I’d have been the same kind of mom I am now, but I have no idea,” she shared.
What Bethany has communicated to mothers in her interview is a wonderful, beautiful thing – something that many of us truly need. As mothers, we make mistakes along the way. We encounter bumps along the path, that’s part of being human. Our love for our children – trying our best – that’s what really matters. Thanks Bethany!
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