Trigger Warning: This story discusses pregnancy loss, miscarriage, and stillbirth, which may be distressing for some readers.
When Kirsten Adams and her husband Trent welcomed their first child, Tanner, in 2012, they had every reason to believe their growing family journey would be smooth sailing. But what followed were years of devastating losses, unanswered questions, and unimaginable heartbreak.
Their second pregnancy ended at the 20-week anatomy scan. “We were totally blindsided,” Kirsten recalls. Her baby boy, Jordan, was delivered stillborn and laid to rest near Kirsten’s grandmother, fittingly, he was born on her birthday.
Miscarriage followed. Then another loss at 17 weeks after a family road trip. The baby, Zion, had no heartbeat. “We checked just to be safe. It was déjà vu,” she says.
Through their grief, Kirsten and Trent welcomed Tate. The pregnancy was heavily monitored and supported by Dr. Robert Silver, Chair of Obstetrics & Gynecology at the University of Utah. She was on daily heparin shots, and despite a traumatic delivery, their baby boy arrived safely.
But loss returned—again and again. Miscarriages at six, ten, and eight weeks. Stillbirths at 15 and 17 weeks. One of the babies tested positive for trisomy 11, but for most, there were no answers. No closure.
In 2022, Kirsten became pregnant with a girl. They allowed themselves to hope. Every two weeks, they saw her bouncing on ultrasounds. “She was always moving,” Kirsten said. But at 17 weeks, Kaitlin’s heartbeat was gone too.
That was pregnancy number eleven and her 9th loss.
“I didn’t know how I could ever do it again,” Kirsten admits. But something in her heart told her they weren’t done. Unexpectedly, she became pregnant again—this time while on birth control.
New medications, including pravastatin (thought to support placental health), were added to her daily heparin shots. Dr. Silver continued his monitoring, doing ultrasounds every two weeks and stress tests at 34 weeks. It was a tightrope walk between hope and fear.
At 37 weeks and 5 days, Kirsten gave birth to baby Kayleigh in January 2025.
IMAGE via: Utah Pregnancy After Loss Program
“She’s our miracle,” Kirsten says simply. “There’s no way I could have done this pregnancy without Dr. Silver.”
For Dr. Silver, the admiration is mutual: “Kirsten and her family are absolutely remarkable. She’s an inspiration to others who are going through the same thing.”
Now five months old, Kayleigh brings laughter and light to a home that holds both joy and reverence. Her big brothers Tanner (12) and Tate (9) adore her.
IMAGE via: Utah Pregnancy After Loss Program
But the babies lost, Jordan, Zion, Alex, Todd, and Kaitlin, are never forgotten. In Kirsten’s home, each has a shadow box filled with items that hold meaning: a tiny blanket, a board book, a positive pregnancy test. Each is remembered on the anniversary of their passing.
“Even just a small thing can help keep them in our hearts,” she says.
Kirsten knows what it’s like to feel unseen in grief. Miscarriage and pregnancy loss are often met with silence or awkwardness. But she’s found strength through community; family, friends, support groups, therapy, and most of all, her faith.
“I don’t know if I could have gone through all of this without God,” she says. “That’s the truth.”
Kirsten’s Advice for Others Facing Pregnancy Loss:
- Advocate for yourself. Ask for extra monitoring, second opinions, or new treatments. Kirsten credits her medical team’s support as key to her final pregnancy’s success.
- Find your support system. Whether it’s a psychologist, a grief counselor, or a local group like Share Parents of Utah, don’t go through it alone.
- Honor your babies. Naming them, creating memory boxes, or simply acknowledging their presence in your life can be healing.
- Don’t rush healing. Grief comes in waves. There’s no timeline.
- Lean into faith, if it helps. For Kirsten, that foundation carried her through the darkest moments.
Every story of pregnancy loss is different, but stories like Kirsten’s remind us of the strength and resilience that define motherhood in all its forms.
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