Julie Moore is five months pregnant and she doesn’t wear her wedding ring.
Last Friday night after she was done serving a couple dinner, instead of leaving a tip – they left her an unusual card.
It read: “We wish to adopt a baby. We are caring, happily married, financially secure and a loving couple. We want to share our joy and love for a child.”
The note also had a phone number on it.
Julie’s husband, J.D. said he thought it was “really creepy” and both felt it was a rude slap in the face.
“I don’t wear a wedding ring at work and so for them to assume I’m not married or that I’m working in a service industry and that I maybe couldn’t afford to have a child or something, I don’t know. I just felt there were too many assumptions there,” Moore said.
KING-TV called the phone number on the card, which was directed to the couple’s attorney. He said they have not gotten any negative responses to their unusual method of finding a baby to adopt. They were doing nothing illegal.
The Moore’s feel bad for this couple, but think that they crossed the line.
SOURCE
Sooooo creepy!! If they are really so happy, stable, and financially secure, why don’t they go through and adoption agency?!
This is EXACTLY what’s wrong with the infant adoption industry: it’s become all about finding babies for adults, rather than about helping children. Thank you, Ms. Moore, for talking about your experience and having KING-TV follow up on it. Pregnant women and the babie they’re carrying should not be viewed as commodities to be preyed upon.
I don’t think it was creepy and this is why – once we were that couple, and we used the ‘business card’ as a way to network. We did this everywhere – leaving with payment at restaurants, in public restrooms, on ATM machines, on gas pumps, in malls, enclosed cards with the bills we paid, left in airports and train stations and anywhere we figured people would see them. Ours was similar in nature of wording and had our contact info on it. We weren’t alone, either. Many couples hoping to adopt do this as a way of ‘getting the word out’. It’s NOT that unusual, really.
The amazing thing: Not only did we get many, many, words of encouragement, prayers, advice, happy stories and offers of help (along with a very few – 4 to be exact – negative comments), our cards actually connected a family (we had already made our connection, so we asked the woman who called us to call our agency, she did), and almost connected two others.
What makes this woman think the card was intended for *her* is understandable, but probably misguided. This couple is likely doing the exact same thing everywhere, regardless of whether their server is pregnant, female, male, or 95 years old, because everyone knows 6 people. That was likely their intent, not to approach exactly this woman about her pregnancy.
JMHO.
What makes this woman think it was for *her*???
Yes, what on earth would make a pregnant woman not wearing a wedding ring think that a card from a couple asking her if she might want to give them *her* baby think it was for *her*?
Of course it’s creepy. It’s predatory, it’s desperate, it’s nasty and it’s rude.
Just because you behaved like that doesn’t mean that it’s ok.
And to call someone misguided when they speak out against this type of behaviour is also creepy.
Of course it’s creepy. You network to find a job, or employees, or a trusted roofer. You don’t network to find a connection so you can adopt a baby. The fact that the number went to an attorney means they seek some kind of legal proceedings, not a true connection. And the fact that Joan doesn’t even exist makes the whole thing even creepier. How can you start a connection out with deception like that?
I agree that pregnant women in crisis should be counseled to seek help, but not to give their children away. Adoptive parents can certainly make it known that they are planning to adopt, but by sharing these plans with friends and family, not advertising.
It’s totally gross. Who are these people to feel entitled to someone else’s child? Why don’t they try finding a child truly in need instead of assuming the mom is in need and then preying on her?
Adoption in America is so utterly screwed up. It’s consumerism gone wild.
To Adoptive Mom,
Just because YOU did the very same thing, doesn’t make it any less creepy. Blech.
This story is what prompted my last post about becoming an ethical adoptive parent. Believe me, it does NOT start with handing out cards to pregnant waitresses.
Tina